For the average person, life is hard. For the average person with mental health issues; life can sometimes feel impossible.
I’m not being a drama queen when I say that I have meltdowns over most inconveniences. Plans cancelled? Well that’s my day wasted, I’m not being productive, I’m a failure and NOW I MIGHT AS WELL JUST DIE.
See? Dramatic. But for a depression sufferer, this is just a normal reaction.
Recently, things have gone wrong. Plenty of things have gone right as well, but it’s as if they hardly matter in the face of the bad. Painful things seem to happen all at the same time, knocking me down again and again.
So, how do I deal with this? The truth is, I Don’t. I naturally smack the self-destruct button with as much force as I can and mistreat myself until I am falling into a deeper, darker hole.
In the last few days it’s gotten to a point where I’ve self-destructed into oblivion and something had to give.
Luckily, I have a brilliant support network of friends, some of whom recently held me while I sobbed into their arms. ‘I just feel so pointless!’ I cried.
‘Everybody feels a little pointless sometimes’
whispered my beautiful friend Jenny.
Since that night, the bad things in my life have only worsened, and some of the good things have gone bad, but somehow, I have kept it together.
Because everybody feels a little pointless sometimes.
Everybody loses people.
Everybody gets hurt.
And if there is anything my friends, family and favourite TV characters have taught me, it’s the way that you deal with your pain that defines who you are.
So; I made a choice.
*Billie Piper voice* NO MORE. NO MORE. NOO MOREEE.
My pain, my sadness and my frustration at the world should be put into something worthwhile. If I feel pointless then I’m going to give myself a point. I’ll be creative and kind and help people. Because as much as I hurt and feel unworthy, there are people out there that think I’m wrong. And more importantly, there are people out there who feel the same about themselves and I want you all to know:
The bad things you think about yourself are wrong.
So now, reader, I want you to make the same choice. Because these things are always easier knowing that you aren’t alone. Even if you don’t believe it. Say no more to your mental illness. It’s never as easy as that, I know. But somehow, somewhere, there is surprisingly always